It's been a while. I had a blog called "Snapp Shot" and I haven't written in a long time. I decided to start a new blog and a new beginning with my new life and my new name. That's right. New name. I got married a little over 2 months ago. It was the happiest day of my life. It will take a lot to top that day as the best. I remember the feeling I had that morning. It wasn't nerves. It wasn't even excitement. It was simply this. Contentment. I remember going to pick up a set of flowers that morning, and the look from the lady I picked them up from. With a very confused look she asked, "Are you the one getting married?" I responded in my normal voice, "Yes, I am the bride." She laughed and said "Congratulations. But how are you so calm?". "Because it's right." I replied.
Certain things in life you just know is in God's plan for you. Like, who you are supposed to marry and spend the rest of your life with. Or, how things worked out perfectly for you to be able to afford to have a wedding and take a two week honeymoon. Or, the blessings in your life. The people who truly care about you and want your wedding day and honeymoon to be perfect. All of that comes from God's plan. However, sometimes even when you know everything is right, you can still lose your vision. In the planning of the wedding, it's easy to lose sight on what brought you to where you are. And after the wedding and honeymoon, it's even worse. The best day you will ever have in your life is now gone. The two week honeymoon that you looked forward to for so long is now over. It's hard to go from that, to "My fridge is leaking." or "My dryer doesn't work right." and "Why won't the toilet flush?" Everyday struggles and stress that you were able to put in the back of your mind before the wedding, are now fresh and new.
I read an article on "Post Wedding Depression" the other day. It's one of the main reasons the first year of marriage is said to be the toughest. It's like the stress is so apparent to you now because you don't have the wedding planning to distract your mind. The stress becomes so strong that your mind completely shuts down. I don't know if that's what I have been experiencing or not, but it makes sense. However, I do know that I have lost sight of what allows all the blessings to come. Not what, so much as who. See, I am a God girl. He is not only my Savior, but my Protector and my Comforter. So, if I have lost sight of Him, that means I feel scared and lonely. It's hard to go through everyday stress and struggles without a Protector and Comforter.
My very favorite Bible Verse says: "The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." Exodus 14:14 You have no idea how many times that verse has ran through my head in my life. It's the verse I always go to. Another favorite says: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 I'm a big music freak. I love Christian Rock music so much more than I could ever put into words. One of my favorites is the band Switchfoot. A few weeks ago I watched a YouTube video of an interview with the lead singer, Jon Foreman. In the interview, he said something that I think will always stick with me. "It's easier for me to believe in God, than to believe that God loves me." I have always felt this way and never knew how to explain it until I heard him say it. It's like I have never felt worthy of God's love for me. Why would He love me? Why would He ALWAYS want me back?
Which brings me to this day. And more music. My very favorite band is Needtobreathe. One of their earliest songs is titled "I Won't Look Back". I have heard that song so many times, but it has never spoke to me in the way that it did this week. A lot of times, their lyrics are so deep that it takes them a while to sink in. That, on top of the fact that the right song speaks to you when you need it to. Here are some of the lyrics:
"Love, love isn't always, Love, the way that we mean. Just like you are right now is all, all that I need. Let's start over, don't be afraid cause I won't keep track. Let's climb to the top. If you won't look down, I won't look back. Love, love isn't always, Love, the kind that you hold. I will be here waiting if you, you can let go. Let's start over, don't be afraid cause I won't keep track. Let's climb to the top. If you won't look down, I won't look back."
Let me start by saying, I really love songs that are written in the voice of Jesus. You listen, and it's as if Jesus is talking right to you. If you didn't catch that while reading the lyrics the first time, take the time to read them again. He is always there to take us back. To encourage us to keep climbing with our head up. To assure us that He's not keeping track of our wrongs. To remind us of His unfailing love for us. He is my Protector. He is my Comforter. He is my climbing instructor. He is my Father. He is Love.
Today, I feel more complete. More comforted. More protected. I feel closer to the mountain top. So, if you are feeling all alone, sad, lonely and depressed, know that your heavenly Father is right there waiting to help you make it to the top. No questions asked. Just remember, don't look down. Just keep climbing.
