“It’s a beautiful day
to save lives.” -Derek Shepherd
About 10 years ago, while I was on vacation in Myrtle Beach,
my dad had his first stroke. I remember the fear that came over my body just
hearing that word. As a Christian, your first reaction is to just stop what you
are doing and pray, pray, pray. I did that. However, my emotions were not
cooperating with me. We were set to leave Myrtle Beach the next morning anyway,
but the drive home was so awful. There’s nothing worse than having to drive a
long distance knowing that when you get there, you don’t know what you are
going to find out. Luckily, that stroke only effected his vision, his speech,
and his ability to keep things in. Meaning, no filter. After some therapy, he
was back to normal. He could talk like he used to, and act like he used to. The
only thing he couldn’t do was drive. But he was able to mow the grass. That was
a happy day for all.
Fast forward almost 4 years to February 23, 2018. My
brother’s birthday. The day my dad had his second stroke. This was the big one.
The one we refer to as, “the bad one”. He lost mobility in his right side with
that one. It took a little longer in therapy, however, once he completed
therapy, he was able to walk with a cane and with some assistance. This one was
harder for me to take than any of the others. I got angry. I was angry with
everyone in my sight. I was angry with God. Possibly for the first time in my
life. I could not understand why this kept happening to him. Why him? Really
God? The guy who lived his life to serve you. The guy who missed summers with
his children to go to school to become a preacher. Not to mention how angry I
was at his previous congregations. Not one person came to see him. Or even
called him. My question was, and to this day is still, when the shepherd is
sick, who prays for him? Do the sheep not jump in and check on him? Do they
just move on living their own lives? I struggled with this stroke and
everything that came with it for a little over a year.
March 4, 2019. The day Luke Perry died. His cause of death?
A stroke. At age 52. He suffered a stroke caused by a blood clot on February 27th
of that year. Only 4 days after my dad’s stroke the previous year. It’s strange
how God works. He knows ways to get through to my heart so well. As crazy as
this sounds, I feel like God used Luke Perry’s death of a stroke as a reminder
to me that my dad is still here with us. Did he suffer a stroke? Yes. However,
he’s still here with us and his personality is the exact same. That was how I
healed from the pain of my dad’s stroke. By realizing that not all families are
as blessed as we have been.
As my dad has gotten older, he’s needed more assistance. My
mom has done all of that for him. She has been his full-time caregiver since
that day. She is one of the strongest people ever created. My husband has also
helped some with him. Only when my mom lets him. He’s in that field of work, so
he’s familiar with what to do and how to do things. I have leaned on him a lot
when my mom has needed help with my dad. We had to keep him over night a few
times and my husband was a huge help to me. For that I was so very thankful.
About 3 months ago, my mom had a small scare. Her blood
level was low, and they were trying to see what was causing it. She called me
on Tuesday morning and asked if I could come sit with my dad while she went to
the hospital for a blood transfusion. I was supposed to sit with him for 4
hours tops. No big deal. I dropped my mom off at the hospital and went back to
sit with my dad. I don’t remember how long I had been there when my mom let me
know that they were admitting her to try and figure out why her iron was so
low. I knew that this meant I had to step up into her spot and become my dad’s
caregiver. My brother had been off work for a while prior to this due to an
illness and he had just gone back to work, so I knew he wasn’t able to take
off. Dustin had just started a brand-new job and he wasn’t able to take off
either. I will not lie to you at all… it was a struggle for me. It was hard on
me as his daughter to do the things I had to do. However, this is my dad and I
had to be there for him. My heart was broken the entire time because my mom was
in the hospital basically by herself. Honestly, for her, it was probably a nice
break to be by herself. But she is the one who is always at the hospital with us
when we need her and here, she was all alone. Thinking about that was my
biggest struggle through everything. That made me emotional. But we made it. My
Mom was in the hospital for a few days, and come to find out, there wasn’t
anything serious causing the bleed in her stomach.
There were several things I learned that week. 1. My Dad is
one of the most loving people ever put on this earth and I am so blessed to be
like him in so many ways. And I’m even more blessed that I still have him. 2.
My Mom does way too much. But she does it because she’s a strong woman who is a
mother and a wife who loves her family. After taking her place for a short
time, I don’t ever question why she does it. I am blessed to be like her in so
many ways. 3. My brother has never been a guy of many words, but I am thankful
that he’s happy. I was able to bond with him this week without even knowing it
and I’m thankful for that. 4. My husband is a saint. He wouldn’t ever let me do
this thing alone and stayed by my side if for nothing else but to keep me strong.
I have such an appreciation for him, and this made that appreciation even
deeper. 5. I’ve always knowing this, but I was reminded that all God asks of us
is to be willing. Once you are willing to do what he needs you to do, the
blessing will come. It was a hard thing for me to do, but once I knew I had to,
the willingness came. Once the willingness was there, everything worked out. I
was so patient through this and I’m so thankful I was not only able to do this,
but willing to do it with patience.
Fast forward about 3 months. It was a Sunday. October 13,
2024 to be exact. The day my dad suffered his third stroke. We had planned to
go to their house already and Dustin was going to go up to the attic and get my
mom’s decorations out for her and in return, she was going to fix him beef
liver and onion. YUCK. My brother and I now joke that at least we didn’t have
liver and onion. We are the only two who don’t like it. Dustin and I were at a
gas station leaving Georgetown when I got a text from my mom. It said, “Do you
have an oxygen reader?” I said that out loud and before I could ask anything,
Dustin was calling her. He knew why. I could hear her on the other end when she
answered Dustin’s question about why she aske for an oxygen reader. The 6 words
I never wanted to hear again. “I think Dad’s had another stroke.” I immediately
took off from the gas station while he was still on the phone. When we got to
the house, Dustin jumped out of the car and went inside as fast as he could
while I parked the car. By the time I got inside, I looked at Dustin and he
simply nodded his head to me. Right after that, the ambulance pulled in. They
took my dad to UK hospital, and they went directly to do a CT scan. That scan
determined my dad had a stroke in his cerebellum. His speech was slurred, and
his left side felt numb. Thankfully, he didn’t end up losing all feeling on
that side like he did with his previous stroke. He was at UK hospital for 5
days and then they transferred him to The Willows for rehab.
My Dad has been at The Willows for 11 days now. His speech
is almost normal, and his strength is coming back slowly. I’m still trying to
stay positive and encourage him every time I’m able to see him. It warms my
heart to hear people at The Willows saying things like “Hey Papa Snapp!” and
“He’s a sweet, sweet man.” They seem to love him there, but how could they not?
I just keep praying that his progress keeps moving forward and that he gets his
strength back enough to walk with assistance again. I want him to enjoy food
the way he used to, and he’s getting there. However, it’s hard right now
because he still must be careful with what he eats. But he’s here and for the
most part, he’s still happy. For that, I am thankful.
I say all this for several reasons. First, I needed to get
it out. Secondly, I need to use it to encourage others. That’s where you come
in. In 2018, throughout the duration of my dad trying to heal from his second
stroke, I really started to question God a lot. It was such a hard time for me spiritually,
however I continued to pray. I continued to worship Him. I remember one song that
stands out to me and it will always remind me of that time in my life every
time I hear it. It’s called, “Light to You” by Michael W. Smith. Here are some
of the lyrics that brought me back to God every single day during that time.
“My hope, has found it’s resting place. And I’ll search no
more. Even the darkness is light to You. It’s hard to believe it, but You say
that it’s true. Even the darkness is light to you. My hope has found it’s
anchor safe, and your rock it holds. Even the darkness is light to You. It’s
hard to believe it, but You say that it’s true. Even the darkness is light to
You. If I made my bed in the depths. If I rise on the wings of the morning.
Through the farthest horizon You’re there. You will find me. You will find me. Even
my darkness is light to You. My darkness, is light to You.”
How do we save lives? Not literally necessarily. But what do
we, as Christians, need to do to save others? I’m very big on not being a
hypocrite. When I say that, I don’t mean “being human” because we all are human
and none of us are perfect. Especially when it comes to our Christian walk.
I’ve always tried my best to be cautious about what I do in front of others.
Especially the non-believers. If you’ve ever known an atheist, I guarantee you
have heard reasons why they choose to be an atheist. My next sentence may not
be a popular one for some of you. I completely understand why they choose to be
that way. They live their lives watching US, the Christians, live a
hypocritical life and they decide they don’t want to be that way or associated
with anything that makes people act that way. We need to remember, and I say
“we” because I mean myself too, that people are watching us. We are a
reflection of God. We are here to save people, but instead we push them away
because they don’t believe in the same things that we do. Or because they don’t
pray. Or because they drink. Or say bad words. Which brings me to my next thing.
Everyone sees the Christians doing those things. Drinking, Cussing, Gossiping…
They see it all. That is why they want no part of it. We are doing the same
things that we think they shouldn’t do. Because they don’t claim to love God,
we in return begin to hate them. Instead, we should be praying for them. I am a
firm believer that God gave us all free will for a reason. There are certain
things that Christians do that are between them and God. My convictions are
different from yours. My philosophy on that is, that’s between you and God. I’m
here to love, I’m not here to judge.
It's just like the story of the woman who was caught in the
act of adultery in the Bible. It’s found in John chapter 8, verses 1-11. Jesus returned to the Mount of
Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back
again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught
them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of
religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act
of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.4 “Teacher,”
they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The
law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” 6 They
were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but
Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They
kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but
let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then
he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they
slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left
in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then
Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers?
Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she
said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
What happened that day, was between her and God. Not me and
God. Nor her and I. I try to think about this story a lot. It’s hard to always see
things the same way Jesus sees them. Christian artist, Brandon Lake, told the
story of when he attended the Grammy’s. It was the year that Sam Smith was
there and wore the red devil outfit. People were crucifying Brandon for being
there. When I say people, I mean Christians. Brandon’s response is out of this
world… as per usual. He said “I’m like, Ya’ll…why don’t you just pray for the man?
And why don’t you just pray for people? Like, why are you coming at me? Do you
think Jesus would get up and leave the Grammy’s because of that? Do you think
He’s scared of that? Do you realize if you call yourself a Christian what
authority you have? And we are called to love these people. Don’t leave the
room, love on them! The 40 seconds I was given to accept the award, I preached
the gospel the best I could and you are throwing stones.” Wow. Do you need to
read that again? I do.
I still celebrate the day I was saved. October 17, 1993. I
was 13 years old. It was something I had never experienced before, and by far
the best feeling I’ve ever had in the world. On that day, I made a promise to
God to live my life for Him. Have I broken that promise? Yes. More than once?
Absolutely. But it’s still my main goal in my heart and in my life. The day I
was saved, there was a song involved. That’s always the way with me. Here are
the lyrics to “Where There is Faith” by 4HIM.
“I believe in faithfulness; I believe in giving of myself
for someone else. I believe in peace and love; I believe in honesty and trust
but it’s not enough. For all that I believe may never change the way it is,
unless I believe Jesus lives. Where there is faith, there is a voice calling
keep walking. You’re not alone in this world. Where there is faith, there is a
peace like a child sleeping. Hope everlasting in He, who is able to bear every
burden, to heal every hurt in my heart. It is a wonderful, powerful place.
Where there is faith. There’s a man across the sea, never heard the sound of
freedom ring. Only in his dreams. There’s a lady dressed in black, in a motorcade
of Cadillacs. Daddy’s not coming back. Our hearts begin to fall and our
stability grows weak, but Jesus meets our needs, if we only believe.”
This song will always hold a special
place in my heart. It’s my love song with God. Well, one of them anyway. We
have a lot of those. Recently, my heart has changed. I’m trying my best to be a
better person. I’m trying to control my anger and just do better. I want to be
the kind of person my dad is. I want people to walk past the room I’m in and
say “She is the sweetest person.” I don’t want to do anything to make that a
false statement about me. I want to be the way I was made. The way God made me
to be. Nothing less.
“Humans are made in the likeness of
God, and how we treat people reflects how we value God.”
James 3:9
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