Have you ever been afraid? I know, that's sort of a silly question. How about this one? What's your biggest fear? That may be a little easier to answer. For me, it's simple. Those evil black things that fly at night because they are nocturnal. Yes, that's correct. BATS! I can't stand to even think about them. Whenever my family and I go to the zoo, I don't even go into where the bats are. It's not even funny to joke with me about them. I feel like I could go into cardiac arrest if I saw one flying towards me. I've had dreams before where I'm running from them. A lot of people think that one should face their fears. While I tend to agree, it's only to a certain extent. For example, if someone told me I should face my fear of bats by going into that closed in cave thing they live in at the zoo, I would probably pass out. A lot of people are scared of heights, or flying. Which to me seem easier to overcome. But to someone who is afraid of those things, they feel the same way I do about bats.
So, back to my original question. Have you ever been afraid? Have you ever been afraid for your life? Or someone else's life? When I first became a Christian, I had no fear. I was only 13 years old and I remember feeling like I could conquer the world. Now that I'm a lot older, I wonder where that childlike faith went to. How did I lose it? What happened to make me question God? What happened to make me so afraid to live? Last week, my family and I had a horrible scare. My big brother, who is only 44 years old, suffered a heart attack. Luckily, it happened when he was with my parents, only 5 minutes away from St. Joseph Hospital in Lexington. They were able to put a balloon in and fix his heart, however the scare came when they tried to remove the tube from his leg. The story was, he had a hole in his artery, so when they pulled the tube out, blood went everywhere. He could have bled out. We are all so thankful to the nurse who put pressure on his leg for 4 hours straight, essentially saving his life. He ended up having a surgery to remove a football size hematoma, and he came through that okay as well.
I'll never forget how scared I was when my phone rang at 5:15 AM on the morning of August the 8th. With my mom on the other end crying, I knew I had to be strong. She needed me. My brother needed me. But, me? I needed God. So, I got in my car, and I turned on the radio and I listened to my Christian music loudly all the way to the hospital. I cried. I prayed. And by the time I got there, my fear had subsided. It was taken over by my faith. When I was about 21 years old, I did a study on Peter. I also spoke on Peter to the church I was attending at the time. Peter is one of my favorites. To me, he seems a lot like us. Or, like me, at least. He's not too ashamed to admit he has doubts and fears. My favorite story of Peter is when Jesus told him to walk to Him on the water.
Matthew 14:24-31
"Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, 'It's a ghost!' But Jesus spoke to them at once. 'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'Take courage. I am here!' Then Peter called to him, 'Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.' 'Yes, come,' Jesus said. So Peter went over to the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. 'Save me, Lord!' he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 'You have so little faith,' Jesus said. 'Why did you doubt me?'"
It's so easy to trust Him when He's near you. But, somehow, whenever the waves start to crash in our lives, we tend to push Him away. We lose faith. And it seems to come so easily. It's so crazy that no matter what we go through, and no matter how far we push Him away, He's always there ready to take us back. Even when we think He's silent, He's there. It's been a tough week for my family. But I know that God is with us. He has always been with us. He will always be with us. I heard a song today for the first time. And as I listened to the words, I realized just how much I still need God. It's called "Walking On Water" by Needtobreathe and here are the lyrics.
"The wind is strong, the water is deep,
My heart is heavy and my mind won't sleep.
Oh can you heal, my fear it breathes,
I need to know if You're the shadow I can see.
I wanna run to You when the waves break through.
I wanna run to You and not turn back.
There's no turning back,
Nothing in the past.
My eyes on You again,
Can't see nothing at all,
But Your outstretched arms.
Help me believe it.
Though I falter,
You got me walking on water.
The ocean's singing, the song of grace,
But if I'm honest with myself, I am still afraid.
I wanna run to You when the waves break through.
I'm gonna run to You and not turn back.
I was sinking like a stone again,
I was halfway in the grave and then,
I looked up and saw Your face again.
You pulled me out of the water, water, water.
Though I falter,
You got me walking on water, water, water."
I looked up and saw Your face again.
You pulled me out of the water, water, water.
Though I falter,
You got me walking on water, water, water."
I would give anything to have been on that boat. To witness Jesus asking someone to have nothing but faith in Him. To see Peter go from being so afraid to becoming so calm. Put yourself in that boat right now. And ask yourself a few questions. If you were Peter, would you do it? If Jesus told you to keep your eyes only on Him, and you could walk on the water, would you do it? Is your faith that strong? Do you trust Him that much?
"You're not alone tonight. Put it down. The worries, the stress, the anxiety, whatever keeps you up at night. Give it to Me and I will take care of it because I love you. You are mine!" -God
