Blame It On The Rain...

Rain sort of gets a bad reputation. Everyone hates the rain. Well, almost everyone. It seems like rain sort of dictates our days and our plans. We plan vacations each year, only to have it rain every single day we are gone. People plan outdoor weddings all the time and hold out hope that the rain will hold off. We go out for a family pool day with the sun shining and have to leave early because it started raining. We go to baseball games and wait for them to call it because of the rain. Or, it could just be on a rain delay. No matter the reason, most of the time we tend to get mad at the rain. At least 9 times out of 10 anyway. I really hate to drive in the rain, but especially when it's dark outside. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. It seems to make seeing nearly impossible for me. Especially if it's storming outside.

But, what if the storm is on the inside? It feels like you can't move. It feels like you can't hear anything but the collapse of thunder in your heart. It feels like you can't see anything other than the lightening that's tearing your world apart. It makes driving through a storm seem simple. If you are anything like me, you are hard on yourself. Why is it that we always beat ourselves up more than we do anyone else? Why is it harder to forgive ourselves than our worst enemy? The fact of the matter is, we all make mistakes. However, it's really hard for me to get over a mistake I make. I try really hard not to make mistakes. I always seem to learn from my mistakes and even from other people's mistakes. It's a big deal to me to live my life in a way that seems perfect to God. And when I do make a mistake, I simply fall apart. I blame myself for a really long time before I move past it. I usually don't talk about it to anyone. Even God. Which is the worst thing in the world you could do.

On July 29th, I will have been at my job for 15 years. I can't believe it's been that long. I still learn new things every day. I feel like I know my job really well. I feel confident when a co-worker or a customer asks me a question, because I feel like I will know the answer. About a month ago, I made a pretty big mistake at work. I'm still paying for it in my heart. I think about it every single day. It doesn't matter how many times I have heard someone say, "It wasn't your fault.", I still feel like it was. I was the reason our office was humiliated. And until I am able to let it go, I will feel that way. Until the storm is over in my heart, I will suffer. Last week I heard a song that I consider one of my top 5 "go to songs". What is a "go to song"? It's one of those songs that you always go to whenever you need to hear from God. This song is called, "Oceans From the Rain" by Seventh Day Slumber. The lyrics are pretty simple.

"And I’m amazed by You. Cause You’re never far away.
And all that I’ve been through, Your love has never changed.
You make oceans from the rain, Breathing life into this place.
And I will drown inside your love, Until I see your perfect face.
And nothing I’ve acquired means anything at all. Cause you’re everything I needed.
You’re so much more than I deserve.
And I thank you Lord.
The blood of Jesus can wash your pain away."

After reading these lyrics, I can't help but wonder why everyone hates rain so much. Rain can wash things away. Rain will cleanse you. Rain keeps the flowers and crops growing. God created the rain for these things. Isaiah 45:8 says, "Rain down, you heavens, from above. And let the skies pour down righteousness; Let the earth open, let them bring forth salvation, And let righteousness spring up together. I, the Lord, have created it." No matter what we do, we are cleansed and our sins are washed away. Going through the rain and the storm does that for us. So, is it good for us to make mistakes that cause us to go through some sort of inner storm? Yes. Why? Because our Father makes oceans from the rain. But how do we learn to let Jesus wash our pain away quicker? How do we heal faster?

Last week I was on facebook and I saw a post from Toby Mac that said, "I am built from every mistake I ever made." It really got me thinking about how our mistakes make us who we are. We learn from them, and we try to never make that same mistake again. I know that I will never make this same mistake again, and I also know that eventually I will forgive myself. But for now, I'm clinging to the one who's love for me has never changed. And I will cling to Him until I see His perfect face.

13 Reasons Why....Not.

I'm sure if you have teenagers, or even if you don't, you have probably heard of the latest Netflix series that is getting lots of attention. It's a show called 13 Reasons Why and it focuses on Teen Suicide. It's only 13 episodes and you can only see it on Netflix. I know you are wondering, so I will go ahead and say, yes I watched it. Why did I watch it? Well. I've been asking myself that ever since I have finished it. I have a big heart for teens. I always have. I wish that I hadn't watched this series, because it left me feeling depressed and desperate. Depressed for the feelings that I know are really out there from teens who are bullied. Teens who are insecure. Teens who are afraid to not agree with other kids. The series focuses on a 17 year old girl named Hannah who records her 13 reasons for committing suicide on cassette tapes. The cassette tapes are dedicated to a person each time. After she committed suicide, a friend mailed out her tapes to the first person on the tapes and then that person forwarded it on to person #2 and so on. Tape #11 is for Clay Jensen. The series starts with Clay receiving the tapes and each episode tells the story as he listens to each tape. It's a very dark series, and I wouldn't recommend that you watch it. Unless, you are letting your children watch it. I know that teen suicide is a very real thing. While I don't think it's this show's intention to promote it, I feel like if someone is thinking about it, then their decision would be made by the end of it. The truth of the matter is, how can someone truly know what their teenager is thinking? This show is very graphic about things that happened to Hannah and about the way she commits suicide at the end. I will go on and tell you, her last tape is for Mr. Porter. Yes, an adult. He was the last person to have a long conversation with her prior to her suicide. And, he did absolutely nothing.


It really hurts my heart that so many kids deal with feelings like this. We live in an unfair world. We live in a world where the good people usually suffer the worst. I was a sensitive kid. I never wanted anyone upset with me and if they were, it would destroy my personality for days. I'm still like that to an extent. I get my feelings hurt very easy. I did as a kid too. So what can we offer kids who feel like this? A post on facebook answered that very question. It's a very simple post called: 13 Reasons Why Not. Here they are.


1.You Are Loved (John 3:16)
2. You Have A Purpose. (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. You Are Given Strength To Persevere (1 Corinthians 10:13)
4. You Will Be Guided (Psalm 32:8)
5. You Are Not Alone (Deuteronomy 31:6)
6. You Were Created By Him and For His Glory (Isaiah 43:7)
7. He Will Take Away Your Worries (1 Peter 5:7)
8. He Will Comfort You (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
9. He Will Carry Your Burdens (Psalm 55:22)
10. He Will Forgive (Mark 11:25)
11. He Will Give You Hope (Romans 15:13)
12. He Will Deliver (Matthew 7:7)
13. He Dwells in You (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)


Maybe if we can all remember these 13 reasons, we can go through life a little easier. Life is hard for an adult, much less for a kid in school. I really don't think I would have made it through school so easily without my relationship with God. Everyone knew that I went to church and that I believed in God, but no one looked down on me for it. I never forced it on anyone, but if they would ask me, I would share my story. I only remember one person in school who was just plain out mean to me and it was for no reason at all. Her name was Nikki something. I'm glad that I can't remember the rest. She would see me walking down the hallway and just jump towards me like she was ready to fight. I never did anything to her, and I never fought back. I'm so thankful for my youth group, and for my parents who brought me up the way they did.


I just hope that I can be a light for the kids out there who feel like they have no reason to go on. I know that it's hard, but as their role models, parents, teachers, and friends, we have to be that light that they so desperately need.


"He calls each and every star by name. It's not likely that he's forgotten yours." -Louie Giglio