Rain sort of gets a bad reputation. Everyone hates the rain. Well, almost everyone. It seems like rain sort of dictates our days and our plans. We plan vacations each year, only to have it rain every single day we are gone. People plan outdoor weddings all the time and hold out hope that the rain will hold off. We go out for a family pool day with the sun shining and have to leave early because it started raining. We go to baseball games and wait for them to call it because of the rain. Or, it could just be on a rain delay. No matter the reason, most of the time we tend to get mad at the rain. At least 9 times out of 10 anyway. I really hate to drive in the rain, but especially when it's dark outside. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. It seems to make seeing nearly impossible for me. Especially if it's storming outside.
But, what if the storm is on the inside? It feels like you can't move. It feels like you can't hear anything but the collapse of thunder in your heart. It feels like you can't see anything other than the lightening that's tearing your world apart. It makes driving through a storm seem simple. If you are anything like me, you are hard on yourself. Why is it that we always beat ourselves up more than we do anyone else? Why is it harder to forgive ourselves than our worst enemy? The fact of the matter is, we all make mistakes. However, it's really hard for me to get over a mistake I make. I try really hard not to make mistakes. I always seem to learn from my mistakes and even from other people's mistakes. It's a big deal to me to live my life in a way that seems perfect to God. And when I do make a mistake, I simply fall apart. I blame myself for a really long time before I move past it. I usually don't talk about it to anyone. Even God. Which is the worst thing in the world you could do.
On July 29th, I will have been at my job for 15 years. I can't believe it's been that long. I still learn new things every day. I feel like I know my job really well. I feel confident when a co-worker or a customer asks me a question, because I feel like I will know the answer. About a month ago, I made a pretty big mistake at work. I'm still paying for it in my heart. I think about it every single day. It doesn't matter how many times I have heard someone say, "It wasn't your fault.", I still feel like it was. I was the reason our office was humiliated. And until I am able to let it go, I will feel that way. Until the storm is over in my heart, I will suffer. Last week I heard a song that I consider one of my top 5 "go to songs". What is a "go to song"? It's one of those songs that you always go to whenever you need to hear from God. This song is called, "Oceans From the Rain" by Seventh Day Slumber. The lyrics are pretty simple.
"And I’m amazed by You. Cause You’re never far away.
And all that I’ve been through, Your love has never changed.
You make oceans from the rain, Breathing life into this place.
And I will drown inside your love, Until I see your perfect face.
And nothing I’ve acquired means anything at all. Cause you’re everything I needed.
You’re so much more than I deserve.
And I thank you Lord.
The blood of Jesus can wash your pain away."
After reading these lyrics, I can't help but wonder why everyone hates rain so much. Rain can wash things away. Rain will cleanse you. Rain keeps the flowers and crops growing. God created the rain for these things. Isaiah 45:8 says, "Rain down, you heavens, from above. And let the skies pour down righteousness; Let the earth open, let them bring forth salvation, And let righteousness spring up together. I, the Lord, have created it." No matter what we do, we are cleansed and our sins are washed away. Going through the rain and the storm does that for us. So, is it good for us to make mistakes that cause us to go through some sort of inner storm? Yes. Why? Because our Father makes oceans from the rain. But how do we learn to let Jesus wash our pain away quicker? How do we heal faster?
Last week I was on facebook and I saw a post from Toby Mac that said, "I am built from every mistake I ever made." It really got me thinking about how our mistakes make us who we are. We learn from them, and we try to never make that same mistake again. I know that I will never make this same mistake again, and I also know that eventually I will forgive myself. But for now, I'm clinging to the one who's love for me has never changed. And I will cling to Him until I see His perfect face.
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