More Heart. Less Attack.

"Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are." -Mother Teresa

Take a deep breath.
Just breathe.
This is the moment you've waited your whole life for.
This is your day.
This is God's plan.

I'll never forget the way I felt standing behind the door with no one but my Dad beside me holding me up. It was mixed emotions. I was the happiest I had ever felt in my life, but at the same time I was so overwhelmed by emotion. As I looked at my Dad for the last time as a "Snapp", he said to me, "Are you ready Tash?" and I said "Ready as I'll ever be." and he said with a giggle, "Let's go then." As I walked down the aisle, all eyes were on me. That part was hard for me. I'm not a fan of being the center of everyone's attention. I always want to go back to the shy little girl who hid behind her Daddy's leg. However, I couldn't much do that. Instead, I looked up. I looked straight ahead. I looked into the eyes of the man that I would spend forever with, as my Dad "carried" me to the next chapter in my life.

 We are all searching for someone to take care of us. It doesn't matter how old we get, we always want to feel loved and cared for by someone. My whole life, I've been blessed. I've always had that. In fact, two of the biggest supporters in my life have always been my parents. They took care of me as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult, and as an old adult. So much so, that I feel like I owe them my life. They had a huge part in me becoming the person I am. The good. The bad. The in between. It's me. And I owe most of it to them. I have my Mom's neck. I have my Dad's nose. I have my Mom's taste in music. I have my Dad's taste in food. I have my Mom's spunk. I have my Dad's sweetness. I have my Mom's forgiving spirit. I have my Dad's sensitivity. I have my Mom's gift of giving. I have my Dad's gift of spreading the Word. I have my Mom's heart. I have my Dad's love. They did their best to teach me what is right and what is wrong. For the most part, they were successful. They were the ones who taught me who Jesus is. They were the ones who always made sure I was in church. I was saved on October 17, 1993 and my biggest fan was right beside me, my Mom! I'm thankful to have such great parents in my life. Especially now that I've realized that not everyone is that lucky.

I went straight from two great parents, to having just as great a husband. He takes care of me. He has that gift. He's always taken care of someone his whole life. I'm thankful he chose me to take care of for the rest of his life. He has such a big heart and words can't express how blessed I feel to be the one holding that big heart of his. He is my life. We love each other more and more every day. My favorite part of our wedding day, we did what is called a "Cross Ceremony". It takes the place of the "Unity Candle". The outer part of the cross represents the man. The head of the household. The inside part of the cross represents the woman. Who is protected by the outer shield. The cross had three "nails" that held it together. We had Haylie do that part to show she helps hold us together. Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or more are gathered, I am their in their midst." Dustin and I have always put God first in our lives, and we promised to put Him first always in our marriage. He and I do a Bible Study every night before bed. A lot of people don't know that about us. We have done that for over a year now and it's something that I always look forward to. On Sunday nights, we share a song with each other that has spoken to us in some way during our week. We talk. We laugh. We cry. We get to know each other on a deeper level. It's my favorite part of my week.

One of my very favorite songs in the world is called "More Heart. Less Attack" by NEEDTOBREATHE. The lyrics are ones that I pray everyday. They describe how I want to be. The person I long to be. The person my parents taught me to be. The person God made me. The person Dustin fell in love with. I've always been told that I'm very kind hearted. I try to look out for people. I try to be the nicest person I can be. I try to make sure people are happy. I try to put others before myself. As you read these song lyrics, know that it describes the person I try my best to be. Who I am meant to be. Who I strive to be. Who I can't always be.

"Be the light in the cracks, be the one who's mending the camel's back.
Slow to anger and quick to laugh. Be more heart and less attack.
Be the wheels not the track. Be the wanderer that's coming back.
Leave the past right where it's at. Be more heart and less attack.
The more you take the less you have. 'Cause it's you in the mirror that's starin' back.
Quick to let go, slow to react. Be more heart and less attack.
Ever growing steadfast. And if need be, the one that's in the gap.
Be the never turning back. Twice the heart any man could have.
Be the wheels not the track. Be the wanderer that's coming back.
Leave the past right where it's at. Be more heart and less attack.
I stuck my hat out, I caught the rain drops.
I drank the water. I felt my veins pop.
I'm nearly sanctified. I'm nearly broken.
I'm down the river, I'm nearly open.
I'm down the river, to where I'm going."

I used that song in my wedding to seat the mothers and grandmothers. I chose it for a few reasons. I wanted to have a NEEDTOBREATHE song in my wedding, I wanted to always think of my wedding every time I hear it, and I knew the words would always be the ones I go to when I need to be brought back down a notch. The long and short of it is, God wants us to be his children. To love like He loved. To allow Him to do our fighting for us. To be that ONE that everyone talks about. The giver. The lover. The joy. So take that heart that God gave you and put it to good use. Especially in world we live in today. Be more heart. Be less attack.