I'm a Survivor

"Just when we think we've figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong." Meredith Grey

I heard a song from my past the other day, and it brought back a lot of memories. It's one of those songs that make you feel better after you crank it up and sing it as loud as you can in your car on the way home from work. This song is an older song, so I've done this many times in my life. It's called "Survivor" and it's by a girl group called "Destiny's Child". You may have heard of them. If not, I know you've heard of the lead singer, Beyoncé. When this song first came out, I loved it for the beat and for this one line in it that still remains my favorite line in the song. I don't know if you have heard it or not, but if you haven't, and you feel like you need to scream about any situation that you have made it through, look it up.

The devil sure has a good way of bringing us down, doesn't he? I truly believe that he is the culprit of all things bad. Sometimes, it's hard to get rid of him once we've let him in. Once we've allowed him to come into our hearts and lives. Once we've listened to his lies about how awful our life is. I read a quote on Facebook the other day, and it reminded me of who is in control. No matter how much we let the devil into our hearts, there is only One who can defeat him. Here is the quote. "You are going to make it. You and your family will be just fine. Just stand and let God fight this battle." How comforting is it to know that God will take on all of our battles?

It's been a while since my last blog. And I feel it. By that, I mean, it helps me to write. It's the thing that helps me heal. But the thing is, I haven't been ready to truly heal until recently. Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Needless to say, I am the perfect example of a brokenhearted, crushed spirit. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but ever since I lost my job at the beginning of the year, that's pretty much how I've felt. And it wasn't until very recently that I have "felt" like starting the healing process. When I was a teen, my youth minister said something to me that I'll never forget. "It's not about the feelings anymore, it's about the facts." The fact is, If I hadn't let my feelings take me over, I would have healed a long time ago. Psalms 73:26 says "My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." Even David was broken. More than once. So anytime I'm broken, I go to Psalms. It's the most comforting book in the Bible simply because David is brokenhearted and is seeking comfort from God, mostly through song. Which brings me to the song that brought me here. The song that pushed my heart into "unbrokenness" mode. It's called "Do It Again" by Elevation Worship. Here are the lyrics.

"Walking around these walls, I thought by now they'd fall.
But You have never failed me yet.
Waiting for change to come, knowing the battle's won.
For Your have never failed me yet.
Your promise still stands, great is Your faithfulness.
I'm still in Your hands, this is my confidence, You've never failed me yet.
I know the night won't last, Your word will come to pass.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
Jesus You're still enough, keep me within Your love.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
I've seen You move, You move the mountains.
And I believe You'll do it again.
You made a way, where there was no way.
And I believe I'll see You do it again."

Forgiveness is the solution to everything. Once you can make it to the spot where you can forgive someone who has wronged you, that's when you are a survivor. The "feeling" that forgiveness gives you is like no other. But do you know why? Because the "fact" is, we have been forgiven for so much more. So why is it so hard for us to forgive? Especially when we know it's the right thing to do. Especially when we do, everything else seems to fall into place. I have a forgiveness story that brought me to this very moment. However, it's pretty personal, so I don't want to share it on here. I never dreamed that a simple story of forgiveness would bring me to a much deeper place where forgiveness is needed in my heart. I'm still working on that forgiveness, and in the process of forgiving, the healing will come. There is a wonderful quote by Mother Theresa that I try to live my life by. I have read it too many times to count. Here is what it says:

"People are often unreasonable and self centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

As for the line in the song "Survivor" that has always been my favorite? Well, it's simple. "I'm wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed. Bring much success, no stress and lots of happiness. You know I'm not gonna diss you on the internet, 'cause my Mama taught me better than that." God has never failed me yet. And I do believe He will continue to move mountains. He's always faithful. So, if we can just move forward and not look back. If we can take the curveball and hit it out of the park. If we can focus on the things that matter the most. If we can let go and let God. That's when we truly become a survivor.

"Love is the only thing that matters." ~Jack Pearson (This Is Us)