Wednesday, January 30, 2019

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

"Sometimes it's that complete surrender, where we see that miracles happen." ~Chrissy Metz

Patience. It's a virtue. Or, so they say anyway. I'm not sure about you, but whenever I have to wait for something, I'm not very patient. If I'm at the Doctor's office, I sit there thinking "I was here on time, why haven't they called me yet?" Or if I'm at a busy restaurant, I look around thinking "Wasn't I here before them?". The thing about a restaurant is, usually you have to wait for a table, then you have to wait to order, then you have to wait for your food to come. This can make me very impatient at times if I'm very hungry. But all that stuff, is just that. Stuff. It doesn't amount to anything. Eventually you get in to see the doctor, and eventually you get to eat your food and you leave the restaurant feeling like you wished you hadn't ate so much. Real patience, that's the true test of life.

Last week, as I was sitting at home applying for jobs online non stop, I started to get anxious. I began to start my negative thinking. "What if I never get another job?" "What if the job I get is not what I want?" "What if I can't provide for my family as I have in the past?". Then, I glanced over on my living room table and looked at something that  has sat on the same living room table for about 10 plus years. When Hallmark was still around, I used to go there often. To say that I love Linus from Peanuts is a complete understatement. He is my all time favorite cartoon character and anytime he is on anything, I feel like I have to have it. No questions asked. Hallmark used to carry a bunch of the Peanuts trinkets, and I have most all of the Linus ones. I can't remember who gave me this particular one, but it's a washing machine and Snoopy is on top of the washer, and Linus is washing his blanket while sitting in front of the washer. The caption is simple. "The best things in life are worth waiting for." When I glanced over and read that, it hit me. Patience. I have to wait for the right thing to come along before I'll get the job. A day or so later, a friend of mine tagged me in a video of Tim Tebow on Facebook.

In the video Tim said, "I think that we all go through seasons in our lives and I just want to encourage you that the season isn't meaningless and it's not wasted, that there's a purpose and a plan for it. Doesn't mean that it's a fun season, 'cause we all go through tough seasons, but that God has a plan in that. And it might not be a season of reaping but it might be the season of sowing. And sowing in your heart so that one day you're ready for that season of reaping. And you're ready when God opens those doors for you, and He's doing something in your life that He's just saying, 'You know what? Just trust me because I'm preparing you for something awesome" I know that God used my friend to send that to me, and I know that God used Tim Tebow to speak to me because at that very moment, I wouldn't have listened to just anybody. It HAD to be Tim Tebow.

A few days after that  I was talking to my husband about my job search. He sort of got a little frustrated with me and he said something that shut me up. He said, "Natasha, you're NOT leaving it in God's hands." He was right. The reason that I shut up, is because it was my husband who said it. About 6 and a half years ago, I met my husband, and it's been the best years of my life. Regardless of anything life has brought us, I wouldn't trade my years with him for anything in the world. Before I met my husband, I thought that God intended for me to be alone. I was that girl who always watched the Nicholas Sparks love story wishing God would send me my very own Noah Calhoun (The Notebook). The last relationship I had prior to meeting my husband, was in 1999. I was 19 years old and I met my husband when I was 32. That's the prime years of falling in love and starting your own family. I tell you this because I was reminded of those years as soon as my husband said to me, "You're NOT leaving it in God's hands." I had all but given up on God sending me "the right one" to love me for the rest of my life. Then, God gave me the best man he ever created to love me. For the rest of my life. He sent me the epitome of Noah Calhoun. I waited a lot of years, but I would wait that many more if I knew I was getting him. So, what does this tell me? My husband was right. Just like the feeling I had that God had no man for me, I realized I had the same feeling about a job.

Fast forward a few more days.... I hear a song. A song I haven't heard in a while. A song by one of my favorites, Jeremy Camp.

"Lord help me now to face this battle
My strength has failed and my eyes can't see
Through the waves of doubt that take me under
In the chaos I hear You speak
You brought me rest in times of struggle
I lay my head down at Your feet
The storm in me that I can't wrestle
Is calmed when I hear You speak
Be still and know that You are my God
Be still and know that You are enough
Though my heart is racing still You're in control
Be still and know that You are my God"

Just as the great Psalmist David said in Psalms 31:14 "But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying "You are my God" I also came across this Psalm in the same day as I heard the song. Now, you try to convince me that God wasn't behind any of this. Patience. Be Still. It seems pretty simple. Today, I received a message from my Mom and it said "When it's not in God's time, you can't force it. When it is in God's time, you can't stop it." Read that again. I've read it about a thousand times since I got it. We all know that once we give God all control, that things fall into place. I know that God has the right job out there for me. One less stressful and one that I will enjoy. Possibly one that I can use towards His glory more than my previous job. I used to say how I just wanted to be able to say, "I love my job!" Maybe the next one, I will truly love with my whole heart. And I know God will give me that perfect job for me. Just like He gave me the Noah Calhoun I always wished for. God is good. Even in the waiting. Everything comes in His perfect time.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

No comments:

Post a Comment