"Maybe Christmas" he thought. "Doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... Perhaps... Means a little bit more!" ~ Dr. Seuss
My very favorite time of the year is Thanksgiving Day through the end of the year. It's the best time of year because of the feeling I have in my heart. That... Christmas feeling. I long for it every day of the year and when it's finally here, I act like a kid again. I'm not sure where it comes from exactly, but I think I get it from my Mom. She's always loved Christmas. Mostly because she wanted it to be special for my brother and I. She made sure of that. And now, I do the same thing for my girls. And my Mom, being the very special Mom that she is, still makes sure that it's special for us.
There's just something about this time of year. We grow up hearing about this jolly, happy, soul, who delivers gifts to all the kids all over the world in one night. And if you are good, you get what you ask for. I know that Christmas has become more and more commercialized over the years, however I still love the idea of teaching our kids of this fictional character. Do we lie to our kids? Yes. Is it teaching our kids something other than the true meaning of Christmas? Yes. Wait... Or is it? As long as I can remember, I was in church. My Dad was a Pastor and I grew up in church my entire life. So, my parents taught me the true meaning of Christmas. They also taught me who Santa is. I wouldn't want it any other way. But what if we taught our children the true meaning of Christmas through Santa? What if God placed Santa in Christmas all those years ago to be a witness? After all, aren't we supposed to GIVE to others? Aren't we REWARDED for the good things we do on earth? Is it possible that Santa is really Jesus in disguise?
I remember when I was in my early 20's I was a youth leader at my church and I was over the Junior High kids. I remember at Christmas, God revealed something to me to share with those kids that I have thought of every single Christmas since then. When I was working on my lesson for my youth kids one night before Christmas, it hit me. Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus's birthday. Now, when it's my birthday, I get presents from those who love me. On Christmas, I get presents from those who love me, yet it's not my birthday, it's Jesus's birthday. Jesus loves us so much, that He wants us to receive gifts on His birthday. And He wants us to be reminded of the greatest gift of all. The day He died for our sins. So, my next thought process is this. What can WE do for Him on His birthday? It's simple. Just two little words is all we have to do. Adore Him.
So many Christmas songs have such heartfelt and deep lyrics. There are so many easy ways to give back to Jesus. Find a good Christmas song and sing the lyrics as loud as you can in your car. Sing the lyrics at church with a group. Go Christmas Caroling and share those lyrics with others. That's really all He wants from us. For us to Adore Him. I want to share the lyrics to a song that I shared with the youth after my lesson that night. It's called "I Won't Forget This Christmas" by Plus One.
"What if there was no manger. No wise men. No Savior.
Just another day in December.
I'd be hopeless, Oh, so hopeless.
But on that day with the angels watching, creation waiting.
You came as a baby.
Like an echo across the world, a cry was heard, and changed everything.
So I won't forget this Christmas, that I am nothing without You.
Oh, You are the star that guides my heart.
I won't forget this Christmas.
Should I get distracted, bring me back to what matters.
All the presents they, they will fade away.
You are forever. Oh, You're forever.
Nothing compares to the gift You gave, my life You saved.
And so I promise You.
I won't forget this Christmas, that I am nothing without You.
You are the star that guides my heart.
I won't forget this Christmas."
My favorite cartoon character is Linus Van Pelt from Peanuts. I especially love the Christmas episode. It will always be something I watch every year no matter what. I am sure most of you know what I'm referring to. A frustrated Charlie Brown asks if anyone can tell him the real meaning of Christmas. Linus, who is never seen without his blue blanket, steps up and tells the story found in Luke chapter 2.
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shown round about them; and they were afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
Now, everyone knows that Linus never lets go of his blanket. It's a security for him. However, when he steps up to read this story, he drops his blanket. He doesn't need his security anymore because He is speaking of his Savior. We all have those insecurities in life that make us hold on to things. But, we don't have to. That baby that was born that day, we belong to Him! That same baby who lived only 33 years on earth before dying for our sins, we belong to Him! And we should do nothing less but ADORE HIM every single day of our life. And to quote my little buddy Linus, "That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."
2019 was a hard year for me. But I'm still here, by nothing but the grace of God. I know why I'm still standing and I acknowledge it. I know that Christmas Feeling that I spoke of earlier can be there all the time. It's not about the gifts that are under the tree, it's about the ones who are around it. Make sure you remember that this Christmas and every day of the year. Christmas is about so much more than the commercialized side of it. So, this Christmas when you are buying gifts for the ones you love, ADORE HIM. While you wrap those gifts and put them under your tree, ADORE HIM. While you are in line at Wal-Mart, ADORE HIM. While you cook that wonderful meal for your family, ADORE HIM. While you are spending time with those you love this Christmas, ADORE HIM. Because it really is all because of HIM.
"Oh come let us adore him, Oh come let us adore him, Oh come let us adore him, Christ the Lord."
Thursday, December 19, 2019
Sunday, September 22, 2019
I'm a Survivor
"Just when we think we've figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong." Meredith Grey
I heard a song from my past the other day, and it brought back a lot of memories. It's one of those songs that make you feel better after you crank it up and sing it as loud as you can in your car on the way home from work. This song is an older song, so I've done this many times in my life. It's called "Survivor" and it's by a girl group called "Destiny's Child". You may have heard of them. If not, I know you've heard of the lead singer, Beyoncé. When this song first came out, I loved it for the beat and for this one line in it that still remains my favorite line in the song. I don't know if you have heard it or not, but if you haven't, and you feel like you need to scream about any situation that you have made it through, look it up.
The devil sure has a good way of bringing us down, doesn't he? I truly believe that he is the culprit of all things bad. Sometimes, it's hard to get rid of him once we've let him in. Once we've allowed him to come into our hearts and lives. Once we've listened to his lies about how awful our life is. I read a quote on Facebook the other day, and it reminded me of who is in control. No matter how much we let the devil into our hearts, there is only One who can defeat him. Here is the quote. "You are going to make it. You and your family will be just fine. Just stand and let God fight this battle." How comforting is it to know that God will take on all of our battles?
It's been a while since my last blog. And I feel it. By that, I mean, it helps me to write. It's the thing that helps me heal. But the thing is, I haven't been ready to truly heal until recently. Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Needless to say, I am the perfect example of a brokenhearted, crushed spirit. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but ever since I lost my job at the beginning of the year, that's pretty much how I've felt. And it wasn't until very recently that I have "felt" like starting the healing process. When I was a teen, my youth minister said something to me that I'll never forget. "It's not about the feelings anymore, it's about the facts." The fact is, If I hadn't let my feelings take me over, I would have healed a long time ago. Psalms 73:26 says "My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." Even David was broken. More than once. So anytime I'm broken, I go to Psalms. It's the most comforting book in the Bible simply because David is brokenhearted and is seeking comfort from God, mostly through song. Which brings me to the song that brought me here. The song that pushed my heart into "unbrokenness" mode. It's called "Do It Again" by Elevation Worship. Here are the lyrics.
"Walking around these walls, I thought by now they'd fall.
But You have never failed me yet.
Waiting for change to come, knowing the battle's won.
For Your have never failed me yet.
Your promise still stands, great is Your faithfulness.
I'm still in Your hands, this is my confidence, You've never failed me yet.
I know the night won't last, Your word will come to pass.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
Jesus You're still enough, keep me within Your love.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
I've seen You move, You move the mountains.
And I believe You'll do it again.
You made a way, where there was no way.
And I believe I'll see You do it again."
Forgiveness is the solution to everything. Once you can make it to the spot where you can forgive someone who has wronged you, that's when you are a survivor. The "feeling" that forgiveness gives you is like no other. But do you know why? Because the "fact" is, we have been forgiven for so much more. So why is it so hard for us to forgive? Especially when we know it's the right thing to do. Especially when we do, everything else seems to fall into place. I have a forgiveness story that brought me to this very moment. However, it's pretty personal, so I don't want to share it on here. I never dreamed that a simple story of forgiveness would bring me to a much deeper place where forgiveness is needed in my heart. I'm still working on that forgiveness, and in the process of forgiving, the healing will come. There is a wonderful quote by Mother Theresa that I try to live my life by. I have read it too many times to count. Here is what it says:
"People are often unreasonable and self centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
As for the line in the song "Survivor" that has always been my favorite? Well, it's simple. "I'm wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed. Bring much success, no stress and lots of happiness. You know I'm not gonna diss you on the internet, 'cause my Mama taught me better than that." God has never failed me yet. And I do believe He will continue to move mountains. He's always faithful. So, if we can just move forward and not look back. If we can take the curveball and hit it out of the park. If we can focus on the things that matter the most. If we can let go and let God. That's when we truly become a survivor.
"Love is the only thing that matters." ~Jack Pearson (This Is Us)
I heard a song from my past the other day, and it brought back a lot of memories. It's one of those songs that make you feel better after you crank it up and sing it as loud as you can in your car on the way home from work. This song is an older song, so I've done this many times in my life. It's called "Survivor" and it's by a girl group called "Destiny's Child". You may have heard of them. If not, I know you've heard of the lead singer, Beyoncé. When this song first came out, I loved it for the beat and for this one line in it that still remains my favorite line in the song. I don't know if you have heard it or not, but if you haven't, and you feel like you need to scream about any situation that you have made it through, look it up.
The devil sure has a good way of bringing us down, doesn't he? I truly believe that he is the culprit of all things bad. Sometimes, it's hard to get rid of him once we've let him in. Once we've allowed him to come into our hearts and lives. Once we've listened to his lies about how awful our life is. I read a quote on Facebook the other day, and it reminded me of who is in control. No matter how much we let the devil into our hearts, there is only One who can defeat him. Here is the quote. "You are going to make it. You and your family will be just fine. Just stand and let God fight this battle." How comforting is it to know that God will take on all of our battles?
It's been a while since my last blog. And I feel it. By that, I mean, it helps me to write. It's the thing that helps me heal. But the thing is, I haven't been ready to truly heal until recently. Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Needless to say, I am the perfect example of a brokenhearted, crushed spirit. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but ever since I lost my job at the beginning of the year, that's pretty much how I've felt. And it wasn't until very recently that I have "felt" like starting the healing process. When I was a teen, my youth minister said something to me that I'll never forget. "It's not about the feelings anymore, it's about the facts." The fact is, If I hadn't let my feelings take me over, I would have healed a long time ago. Psalms 73:26 says "My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." Even David was broken. More than once. So anytime I'm broken, I go to Psalms. It's the most comforting book in the Bible simply because David is brokenhearted and is seeking comfort from God, mostly through song. Which brings me to the song that brought me here. The song that pushed my heart into "unbrokenness" mode. It's called "Do It Again" by Elevation Worship. Here are the lyrics.
"Walking around these walls, I thought by now they'd fall.
But You have never failed me yet.
Waiting for change to come, knowing the battle's won.
For Your have never failed me yet.
Your promise still stands, great is Your faithfulness.
I'm still in Your hands, this is my confidence, You've never failed me yet.
I know the night won't last, Your word will come to pass.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
Jesus You're still enough, keep me within Your love.
My heart will sing Your praise again.
I've seen You move, You move the mountains.
And I believe You'll do it again.
You made a way, where there was no way.
And I believe I'll see You do it again."
Forgiveness is the solution to everything. Once you can make it to the spot where you can forgive someone who has wronged you, that's when you are a survivor. The "feeling" that forgiveness gives you is like no other. But do you know why? Because the "fact" is, we have been forgiven for so much more. So why is it so hard for us to forgive? Especially when we know it's the right thing to do. Especially when we do, everything else seems to fall into place. I have a forgiveness story that brought me to this very moment. However, it's pretty personal, so I don't want to share it on here. I never dreamed that a simple story of forgiveness would bring me to a much deeper place where forgiveness is needed in my heart. I'm still working on that forgiveness, and in the process of forgiving, the healing will come. There is a wonderful quote by Mother Theresa that I try to live my life by. I have read it too many times to count. Here is what it says:
"People are often unreasonable and self centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
As for the line in the song "Survivor" that has always been my favorite? Well, it's simple. "I'm wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed. Bring much success, no stress and lots of happiness. You know I'm not gonna diss you on the internet, 'cause my Mama taught me better than that." God has never failed me yet. And I do believe He will continue to move mountains. He's always faithful. So, if we can just move forward and not look back. If we can take the curveball and hit it out of the park. If we can focus on the things that matter the most. If we can let go and let God. That's when we truly become a survivor.
"Love is the only thing that matters." ~Jack Pearson (This Is Us)
Friday, March 15, 2019
The Right Kind of Love
"Storms make trees take deeper roots." -Dolly Parton
January 9, 2019
The date of my interview in Frankfort at the Circuit Clerk's Office
January 30, 2019
The date of my last entry.
January 31, 2019
The date I received a phone call and set up an interview at the School.
February 4, 2019
The date of my interview at the School.
February 5, 2019
The date everything changed.
I remember getting the phone call. It was a girl named Whitney, and she wanted to set up an interview with me at the Franklin County Circuit Clerk's Office. We set it up for January 9th at 1:30 pm. That date was going to be my second day without a job. I remember it was a cold day out and I had a horrible cough starting. I prayed hard about this job. I wasn't sure if it was the right one for me, I just knew that it would be familiar to me. It would be something I was used to. I prayed so hard because I didn't know if God wanted me to be in the same type of environment I had been in for the past 16 years. With the experience I had, I figured if I didn't get it, I wouldn't pursue anything like it again. I went to the interview and I had made a special playlist to listen to on the way. I felt good going into it. I was there for about 30 minutes and I thought it went well. However, I kept second guessing why I didn't mention this or that. I kept thinking "I should have said this for that question". They told me before I left that they would make a decision by the end of the next week. The whole next week came and went and I didn't hear a thing. I was upset. I was depressed. But I knew God was in control so I tried not to panic. About a week and a half later, I received a letter in the mail telling me that I didn't get the job. So, I moved on in my job search. Away from the court of justice.
The very next day, I received a phone call from Scott County Schools to set up an interview. I was really excited about this one. They set the interview up for February 4th at 11:40am. Again, I did the same routine. I prayed really hard and listened to a whole lot of music. I even had Dustin "fake interview" me the say before so I would be prepared to talk good about myself. I went to the interview and I presented the best version of me I ever have. Again, the interview lasted about 30 minutes and I left feeling really good about it. Again, she told me she would know by the end of the week. I felt really positive the whole time about this one. I kept thinking this was it. This was the one God wanted for me. I just knew it.
Fast forward literally 24 hours. I get a phone call. It was Franklin County Circuit Clerk, Amy Feldman. She was calling to..... what? Offer me a job? I was stunned by her phone call. So stunned that I can't even remember what exactly I said to her. So stunned that I decided to send her an email almost immediately after I talked to her. She told me that she had another opening and that she would let me know for sure once the position was approved if I was interested. The next 24 hours were dedicated to nothing but prayer and meditation for me. I didn't know when she would contact me, but I knew I needed to be ready. I also knew that I had another interview the next day so I had to be prepared for that as well. That next morning, I woke up and started to get ready for my interview. I got on my phone before getting in the shower, and I checked my email. Sure enough, there was an email to me from Amy. She was telling me that she had the position approved and gave me an amount of money that I would make. I started to freak out a little. I had an interview in less than two hours and I had this decision to make. Do I still go to the interview? Should I wait to hear from the school? Do I accept the position in Frankfort? I was so torn. I had no idea what to do.
I always listen to music when I'm in the shower, so I turned it on shuffle. I have a Jeremy Camp play list, so his was the one I picked. As I hit the shuffle button, I said out loud right before I stepped into the shower, "Come on Jeremy. Sing a song that's gonna speak to me." The first song that played was "I Know You're Calling" and here are some of the words:
"A broken image is sometimes what I see, but the hand that made me is the hand that won't leave me. You've begun a good work that only has begun, and You always lead me, lead me to Your Son. What I want to know everything You are. What I want to see Your will for me and I know You'll show me. Another day I can spend with You, You turn the pages telling me what to do. And when I feel like I want to fall again, You always lead me well You lead me to Your hand. And I know You're calling, I see Your arms stretched wide. And I feel You drawing, drawing me back again."
True story. If that wasn't my answer, I don't know how else He could've spelled it out to me. I got out of the shower and I responded to Amy's email and accepted the position. She responded and asked me to start on February 18, 2019. I was only without a job for about a month and a half. God was so good to me. Ironically enough, I went to see Jeremy Camp in concert the weekend after I got the job. I ended up meeting him afterwards. Another one of those God moments in my life. I got to meet my favorite male singer who's song played such a big part in me finding my place in life again. The quieter you become, the more you can hear. God wants nothing more than for us to seek Him and hear His voice. To find in Him that perfect love we all are longing for.
Somewhere in the middle of all this, I was given the opportunity to become a back up leader in our small group. So whenever the leader is gone, I lead the bible study that we do. I've been able to do that three times now, and I am really blessed by it. I've been able to tell stories and share God moments with people that I love. One of the things I usually focus on is being upset with God that my Dad had a stroke. Last week, Luke Perry passed away from a massive stroke. It wasn't until Luke died from a stroke that I finally came to full peace with God about my Dad having a stroke. God used something that He knew I would be effected by, to show me that He loves me perfectly and would never do anything to make me question Him. It took Luke Perry dying of a stroke, for God to get through to me that He didn't allow my dad to have a stroke, He protected Him from dying of one. That really made me start thinking of all the blessings in my life. I've been more thankful the past week. I've been more thankful in my prayers.
Monday night I went with my mom to see our favorite band, NEEDTOBREATHE. The lead singer told the story about when he wrote the song "Wasteland". He said that he wrote it and wasn't too sure about it. He played it for his brother and his brother put in some more words to make the song whole. Then he said "You know, you think you know what a song is about until people start telling you stories about how the song has touched them. Once you start talking to those people, that's when you realize, it wasn't you who wrote the song." Here are some of the lyrics.
"I'm the first one in line to die when the cavalry comes. Yeah it feels like the great divide has already come. Yeah I'm wasting my way through days, losing youth along the way. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? There was a greatness I felt for a while, and somehow it changed. Some kind of blindness I use to protect me from all of my stains. Yeah I wish this was vertigo, it just feels like I'm falling slow. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? All of these people I meet, it seems like they're fine. Yeah in some ways I hope that they're not, and their hearts are like mine. Yeah, it's wrong when it seems like work. To belong, all I feel is hurt. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? Yeah, in this wasteland where I'm livin', there is a crack in the door filled with light. And it's all that I need to get by. Yeah, in this wasteland where I'm livin', there is a crack in the door filled with light, and it's all that I need to shine."
What is light to you? What's that thing that allows you to see? For me, it's easy. God's love. There is no other kind of love in life that's like His. In honor of Luke Perry, I'll use a 90210 reference to describe it. It's the right kind of love. No more, no less. Can you get to that point where His love is all you need? Can you get to the point where His love is what keeps you going? Can you get to that point where His love is your light? John 1:5 says, "The light shines in the darkness, and he darkness has not overcome it." Can you get to the point where YOU are the light? Can you get to the point where YOU can hear HIS voice? Get there. It's an amazing place to be.
"Your voice is all I'm craving." -Jeremy Camp
January 9, 2019
The date of my interview in Frankfort at the Circuit Clerk's Office
January 30, 2019
The date of my last entry.
January 31, 2019
The date I received a phone call and set up an interview at the School.
February 4, 2019
The date of my interview at the School.
February 5, 2019
The date everything changed.
I remember getting the phone call. It was a girl named Whitney, and she wanted to set up an interview with me at the Franklin County Circuit Clerk's Office. We set it up for January 9th at 1:30 pm. That date was going to be my second day without a job. I remember it was a cold day out and I had a horrible cough starting. I prayed hard about this job. I wasn't sure if it was the right one for me, I just knew that it would be familiar to me. It would be something I was used to. I prayed so hard because I didn't know if God wanted me to be in the same type of environment I had been in for the past 16 years. With the experience I had, I figured if I didn't get it, I wouldn't pursue anything like it again. I went to the interview and I had made a special playlist to listen to on the way. I felt good going into it. I was there for about 30 minutes and I thought it went well. However, I kept second guessing why I didn't mention this or that. I kept thinking "I should have said this for that question". They told me before I left that they would make a decision by the end of the next week. The whole next week came and went and I didn't hear a thing. I was upset. I was depressed. But I knew God was in control so I tried not to panic. About a week and a half later, I received a letter in the mail telling me that I didn't get the job. So, I moved on in my job search. Away from the court of justice.
The very next day, I received a phone call from Scott County Schools to set up an interview. I was really excited about this one. They set the interview up for February 4th at 11:40am. Again, I did the same routine. I prayed really hard and listened to a whole lot of music. I even had Dustin "fake interview" me the say before so I would be prepared to talk good about myself. I went to the interview and I presented the best version of me I ever have. Again, the interview lasted about 30 minutes and I left feeling really good about it. Again, she told me she would know by the end of the week. I felt really positive the whole time about this one. I kept thinking this was it. This was the one God wanted for me. I just knew it.
Fast forward literally 24 hours. I get a phone call. It was Franklin County Circuit Clerk, Amy Feldman. She was calling to..... what? Offer me a job? I was stunned by her phone call. So stunned that I can't even remember what exactly I said to her. So stunned that I decided to send her an email almost immediately after I talked to her. She told me that she had another opening and that she would let me know for sure once the position was approved if I was interested. The next 24 hours were dedicated to nothing but prayer and meditation for me. I didn't know when she would contact me, but I knew I needed to be ready. I also knew that I had another interview the next day so I had to be prepared for that as well. That next morning, I woke up and started to get ready for my interview. I got on my phone before getting in the shower, and I checked my email. Sure enough, there was an email to me from Amy. She was telling me that she had the position approved and gave me an amount of money that I would make. I started to freak out a little. I had an interview in less than two hours and I had this decision to make. Do I still go to the interview? Should I wait to hear from the school? Do I accept the position in Frankfort? I was so torn. I had no idea what to do.
I always listen to music when I'm in the shower, so I turned it on shuffle. I have a Jeremy Camp play list, so his was the one I picked. As I hit the shuffle button, I said out loud right before I stepped into the shower, "Come on Jeremy. Sing a song that's gonna speak to me." The first song that played was "I Know You're Calling" and here are some of the words:
"A broken image is sometimes what I see, but the hand that made me is the hand that won't leave me. You've begun a good work that only has begun, and You always lead me, lead me to Your Son. What I want to know everything You are. What I want to see Your will for me and I know You'll show me. Another day I can spend with You, You turn the pages telling me what to do. And when I feel like I want to fall again, You always lead me well You lead me to Your hand. And I know You're calling, I see Your arms stretched wide. And I feel You drawing, drawing me back again."
True story. If that wasn't my answer, I don't know how else He could've spelled it out to me. I got out of the shower and I responded to Amy's email and accepted the position. She responded and asked me to start on February 18, 2019. I was only without a job for about a month and a half. God was so good to me. Ironically enough, I went to see Jeremy Camp in concert the weekend after I got the job. I ended up meeting him afterwards. Another one of those God moments in my life. I got to meet my favorite male singer who's song played such a big part in me finding my place in life again. The quieter you become, the more you can hear. God wants nothing more than for us to seek Him and hear His voice. To find in Him that perfect love we all are longing for.
Somewhere in the middle of all this, I was given the opportunity to become a back up leader in our small group. So whenever the leader is gone, I lead the bible study that we do. I've been able to do that three times now, and I am really blessed by it. I've been able to tell stories and share God moments with people that I love. One of the things I usually focus on is being upset with God that my Dad had a stroke. Last week, Luke Perry passed away from a massive stroke. It wasn't until Luke died from a stroke that I finally came to full peace with God about my Dad having a stroke. God used something that He knew I would be effected by, to show me that He loves me perfectly and would never do anything to make me question Him. It took Luke Perry dying of a stroke, for God to get through to me that He didn't allow my dad to have a stroke, He protected Him from dying of one. That really made me start thinking of all the blessings in my life. I've been more thankful the past week. I've been more thankful in my prayers.
Monday night I went with my mom to see our favorite band, NEEDTOBREATHE. The lead singer told the story about when he wrote the song "Wasteland". He said that he wrote it and wasn't too sure about it. He played it for his brother and his brother put in some more words to make the song whole. Then he said "You know, you think you know what a song is about until people start telling you stories about how the song has touched them. Once you start talking to those people, that's when you realize, it wasn't you who wrote the song." Here are some of the lyrics.
"I'm the first one in line to die when the cavalry comes. Yeah it feels like the great divide has already come. Yeah I'm wasting my way through days, losing youth along the way. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? There was a greatness I felt for a while, and somehow it changed. Some kind of blindness I use to protect me from all of my stains. Yeah I wish this was vertigo, it just feels like I'm falling slow. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? All of these people I meet, it seems like they're fine. Yeah in some ways I hope that they're not, and their hearts are like mine. Yeah, it's wrong when it seems like work. To belong, all I feel is hurt. Oh, if God is on my side, who can be against me? Yeah, in this wasteland where I'm livin', there is a crack in the door filled with light. And it's all that I need to get by. Yeah, in this wasteland where I'm livin', there is a crack in the door filled with light, and it's all that I need to shine."
What is light to you? What's that thing that allows you to see? For me, it's easy. God's love. There is no other kind of love in life that's like His. In honor of Luke Perry, I'll use a 90210 reference to describe it. It's the right kind of love. No more, no less. Can you get to that point where His love is all you need? Can you get to the point where His love is what keeps you going? Can you get to that point where His love is your light? John 1:5 says, "The light shines in the darkness, and he darkness has not overcome it." Can you get to the point where YOU are the light? Can you get to the point where YOU can hear HIS voice? Get there. It's an amazing place to be.
"Your voice is all I'm craving." -Jeremy Camp
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
"Sometimes it's that complete surrender, where we see that miracles happen." ~Chrissy Metz
Patience. It's a virtue. Or, so they say anyway. I'm not sure about you, but whenever I have to wait for something, I'm not very patient. If I'm at the Doctor's office, I sit there thinking "I was here on time, why haven't they called me yet?" Or if I'm at a busy restaurant, I look around thinking "Wasn't I here before them?". The thing about a restaurant is, usually you have to wait for a table, then you have to wait to order, then you have to wait for your food to come. This can make me very impatient at times if I'm very hungry. But all that stuff, is just that. Stuff. It doesn't amount to anything. Eventually you get in to see the doctor, and eventually you get to eat your food and you leave the restaurant feeling like you wished you hadn't ate so much. Real patience, that's the true test of life.
Last week, as I was sitting at home applying for jobs online non stop, I started to get anxious. I began to start my negative thinking. "What if I never get another job?" "What if the job I get is not what I want?" "What if I can't provide for my family as I have in the past?". Then, I glanced over on my living room table and looked at something that has sat on the same living room table for about 10 plus years. When Hallmark was still around, I used to go there often. To say that I love Linus from Peanuts is a complete understatement. He is my all time favorite cartoon character and anytime he is on anything, I feel like I have to have it. No questions asked. Hallmark used to carry a bunch of the Peanuts trinkets, and I have most all of the Linus ones. I can't remember who gave me this particular one, but it's a washing machine and Snoopy is on top of the washer, and Linus is washing his blanket while sitting in front of the washer. The caption is simple. "The best things in life are worth waiting for." When I glanced over and read that, it hit me. Patience. I have to wait for the right thing to come along before I'll get the job. A day or so later, a friend of mine tagged me in a video of Tim Tebow on Facebook.
In the video Tim said, "I think that we all go through seasons in our lives and I just want to encourage you that the season isn't meaningless and it's not wasted, that there's a purpose and a plan for it. Doesn't mean that it's a fun season, 'cause we all go through tough seasons, but that God has a plan in that. And it might not be a season of reaping but it might be the season of sowing. And sowing in your heart so that one day you're ready for that season of reaping. And you're ready when God opens those doors for you, and He's doing something in your life that He's just saying, 'You know what? Just trust me because I'm preparing you for something awesome" I know that God used my friend to send that to me, and I know that God used Tim Tebow to speak to me because at that very moment, I wouldn't have listened to just anybody. It HAD to be Tim Tebow.
A few days after that I was talking to my husband about my job search. He sort of got a little frustrated with me and he said something that shut me up. He said, "Natasha, you're NOT leaving it in God's hands." He was right. The reason that I shut up, is because it was my husband who said it. About 6 and a half years ago, I met my husband, and it's been the best years of my life. Regardless of anything life has brought us, I wouldn't trade my years with him for anything in the world. Before I met my husband, I thought that God intended for me to be alone. I was that girl who always watched the Nicholas Sparks love story wishing God would send me my very own Noah Calhoun (The Notebook). The last relationship I had prior to meeting my husband, was in 1999. I was 19 years old and I met my husband when I was 32. That's the prime years of falling in love and starting your own family. I tell you this because I was reminded of those years as soon as my husband said to me, "You're NOT leaving it in God's hands." I had all but given up on God sending me "the right one" to love me for the rest of my life. Then, God gave me the best man he ever created to love me. For the rest of my life. He sent me the epitome of Noah Calhoun. I waited a lot of years, but I would wait that many more if I knew I was getting him. So, what does this tell me? My husband was right. Just like the feeling I had that God had no man for me, I realized I had the same feeling about a job.
Fast forward a few more days.... I hear a song. A song I haven't heard in a while. A song by one of my favorites, Jeremy Camp.
"Lord help me now to face this battle
My strength has failed and my eyes can't see
Through the waves of doubt that take me under
In the chaos I hear You speak
You brought me rest in times of struggle
I lay my head down at Your feet
The storm in me that I can't wrestle
Is calmed when I hear You speak
Be still and know that You are my God
Be still and know that You are enough
Though my heart is racing still You're in control
Be still and know that You are my God"
Just as the great Psalmist David said in Psalms 31:14 "But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying "You are my God" I also came across this Psalm in the same day as I heard the song. Now, you try to convince me that God wasn't behind any of this. Patience. Be Still. It seems pretty simple. Today, I received a message from my Mom and it said "When it's not in God's time, you can't force it. When it is in God's time, you can't stop it." Read that again. I've read it about a thousand times since I got it. We all know that once we give God all control, that things fall into place. I know that God has the right job out there for me. One less stressful and one that I will enjoy. Possibly one that I can use towards His glory more than my previous job. I used to say how I just wanted to be able to say, "I love my job!" Maybe the next one, I will truly love with my whole heart. And I know God will give me that perfect job for me. Just like He gave me the Noah Calhoun I always wished for. God is good. Even in the waiting. Everything comes in His perfect time.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2
Patience. It's a virtue. Or, so they say anyway. I'm not sure about you, but whenever I have to wait for something, I'm not very patient. If I'm at the Doctor's office, I sit there thinking "I was here on time, why haven't they called me yet?" Or if I'm at a busy restaurant, I look around thinking "Wasn't I here before them?". The thing about a restaurant is, usually you have to wait for a table, then you have to wait to order, then you have to wait for your food to come. This can make me very impatient at times if I'm very hungry. But all that stuff, is just that. Stuff. It doesn't amount to anything. Eventually you get in to see the doctor, and eventually you get to eat your food and you leave the restaurant feeling like you wished you hadn't ate so much. Real patience, that's the true test of life.
Last week, as I was sitting at home applying for jobs online non stop, I started to get anxious. I began to start my negative thinking. "What if I never get another job?" "What if the job I get is not what I want?" "What if I can't provide for my family as I have in the past?". Then, I glanced over on my living room table and looked at something that has sat on the same living room table for about 10 plus years. When Hallmark was still around, I used to go there often. To say that I love Linus from Peanuts is a complete understatement. He is my all time favorite cartoon character and anytime he is on anything, I feel like I have to have it. No questions asked. Hallmark used to carry a bunch of the Peanuts trinkets, and I have most all of the Linus ones. I can't remember who gave me this particular one, but it's a washing machine and Snoopy is on top of the washer, and Linus is washing his blanket while sitting in front of the washer. The caption is simple. "The best things in life are worth waiting for." When I glanced over and read that, it hit me. Patience. I have to wait for the right thing to come along before I'll get the job. A day or so later, a friend of mine tagged me in a video of Tim Tebow on Facebook.
In the video Tim said, "I think that we all go through seasons in our lives and I just want to encourage you that the season isn't meaningless and it's not wasted, that there's a purpose and a plan for it. Doesn't mean that it's a fun season, 'cause we all go through tough seasons, but that God has a plan in that. And it might not be a season of reaping but it might be the season of sowing. And sowing in your heart so that one day you're ready for that season of reaping. And you're ready when God opens those doors for you, and He's doing something in your life that He's just saying, 'You know what? Just trust me because I'm preparing you for something awesome" I know that God used my friend to send that to me, and I know that God used Tim Tebow to speak to me because at that very moment, I wouldn't have listened to just anybody. It HAD to be Tim Tebow.
A few days after that I was talking to my husband about my job search. He sort of got a little frustrated with me and he said something that shut me up. He said, "Natasha, you're NOT leaving it in God's hands." He was right. The reason that I shut up, is because it was my husband who said it. About 6 and a half years ago, I met my husband, and it's been the best years of my life. Regardless of anything life has brought us, I wouldn't trade my years with him for anything in the world. Before I met my husband, I thought that God intended for me to be alone. I was that girl who always watched the Nicholas Sparks love story wishing God would send me my very own Noah Calhoun (The Notebook). The last relationship I had prior to meeting my husband, was in 1999. I was 19 years old and I met my husband when I was 32. That's the prime years of falling in love and starting your own family. I tell you this because I was reminded of those years as soon as my husband said to me, "You're NOT leaving it in God's hands." I had all but given up on God sending me "the right one" to love me for the rest of my life. Then, God gave me the best man he ever created to love me. For the rest of my life. He sent me the epitome of Noah Calhoun. I waited a lot of years, but I would wait that many more if I knew I was getting him. So, what does this tell me? My husband was right. Just like the feeling I had that God had no man for me, I realized I had the same feeling about a job.
Fast forward a few more days.... I hear a song. A song I haven't heard in a while. A song by one of my favorites, Jeremy Camp.
"Lord help me now to face this battle
My strength has failed and my eyes can't see
Through the waves of doubt that take me under
In the chaos I hear You speak
You brought me rest in times of struggle
I lay my head down at Your feet
The storm in me that I can't wrestle
Is calmed when I hear You speak
Be still and know that You are my God
Be still and know that You are enough
Though my heart is racing still You're in control
Be still and know that You are my God"
Just as the great Psalmist David said in Psalms 31:14 "But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying "You are my God" I also came across this Psalm in the same day as I heard the song. Now, you try to convince me that God wasn't behind any of this. Patience. Be Still. It seems pretty simple. Today, I received a message from my Mom and it said "When it's not in God's time, you can't force it. When it is in God's time, you can't stop it." Read that again. I've read it about a thousand times since I got it. We all know that once we give God all control, that things fall into place. I know that God has the right job out there for me. One less stressful and one that I will enjoy. Possibly one that I can use towards His glory more than my previous job. I used to say how I just wanted to be able to say, "I love my job!" Maybe the next one, I will truly love with my whole heart. And I know God will give me that perfect job for me. Just like He gave me the Noah Calhoun I always wished for. God is good. Even in the waiting. Everything comes in His perfect time.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
It isn't in my blood
"I've got a theory that if you give 100% of the time, somehow things will work out in the end." ~Larry Bird
Have you ever just felt like giving up? I know that's kind of what they call a "stupid question". Everyone has felt that way at some point in their life. The sad thing is, some people feel that way more than others do. Some people just don't have a strong mind. A strong personality. A strong heart. I, Natasha Downs, am one of those people. Sometimes I think that I have such a big heart for others, that when it comes to taking care of myself, I just don't have it in me. I know that having a big heart for others is not a bad thing. Jesus had the biggest heart in the world for others. I just feel at times, that having a big heart for others makes it tough when I need to have a strong heart for myself. All that being said, I can honestly say, I have never once actually given up. No matter how much I've felt like it. As my youth minister told me, "It's not about the feelings anymore Natasha. It's about the facts." The inspiration for the title of this blog came to me a few weeks ago. My niece is a huge Shawn Mendes fan and I was looking him up to make sure she had my approval. After reading the lyrics to a song that he wrote, let's just say I approve 100%. God speaks to me through lyrics every single day. Sometimes, it's not a Christian song. Here are some of the lyrics to In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.
"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.
It isn't in my blood.
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something.
Keep telling me that it gets better, does it ever?
I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious.
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this.
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
is there somebody who could
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.
It isn't in my blood."
These particular words in this song really spoke to me. Why? Because it was exactly how I have been feeling over the past few months. There have been feelings of anxiety. Feelings of insecurity. Overwhelming feelings. There were times that I would ask Dustin if he was going to be home during lunch or even after work on time simply because I didn't want to be by myself. It felt like the whole world was saying to me, "It gets better.", not in so many words. Losing my job has really taken a toll on my heart. To say my heart is broken, is an understatement. However, my God is a God who heals. My God is the "somebody who could help me..." in this song. My God is the One who allowed me not to give up. This time, or any other time I have felt like it. How does He do that? One simple word. Faith. You've heard it said that faith can move mountains. Let me tell you something, it can. My faith has been stronger lately. Why? The heartbreak. The unknown. The uncertainty.
"You call me out upon the waters.
The great unknown, where feet may fail.
And there I find You in the mystery.
In oceans deep, my faith will stand.
And I will call upon Your name.
And keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace.
For I am Yours and You are mine.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
Your sovereign hand, will be my guide.
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed and You won't start now.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders.
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be made stronger,
in the presence of my Savior.
I will call upon Your name.
Keep my eyes above the waves.
My soul will rest in Your embrace.
I am Yours and You are mine."
Some of the purest, most peaceful, lyrics I've ever heard in a song. This song has been my go to for the past week. It has the reminder of faith. Trust. Hope. Love. "But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 No matter what comes my way, I know that God has got me. I know that He has a plan. And as I'm finally able to start the healing process, I couldn't be more thankful for the waves he wants me to ride. For it does one thing, makes my faith stronger. God has always been faithful. He's always been there. Always been my constant. There was another song that God spoke to me through about a week ago. It's what I like to call, a "conversation with God" song. It's by TobyMac. I'll write the lyrics in a way you can understand easily.
Me: Another heartbreak day. Feels like You're miles away.
Don't even need no shade, when your sun don't shine, shine.
Too many passin' dreams. Roll by like limousines.
It's hard to keep believin', when they pass you by and by.
God: I know your heart been broke again. I know your prayers ain't been answered yet.
I know you're feeling like you got nothing left, well lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet.
Move, keep walkin', soldier keep movin' on. Move, keep walkin' until the mornin' comes.
Move, keep walkin', soldier keep movin' on, and lift your head. It ain't over yet, ain't over yet.
I've had this conversation with God about a million and one times in my life. More so recently. I can't remember a time when I've felt this down. This angry. This heartbroken. This betrayed. However, as all of these songs have reminded me, God is on my side. No matter the mountain, God can move it. Which is why He wants me to keep movin' on. He has a reason for my heartbreak, and He will be there with me through the healing. I truly believe God made my heart into a giving heart. He gave it to me and told me to use it in every way possible. I feel like I have always done that. I always put others above myself. I always use my heart to show love to others, even the ones who are hard to love. I've used my heart through the words of all of my blogs, in hopes that it will reach someone. I give and give and give because it's in my nature. It's my gift. And no matter how much my heart gets broken in this life, I know that it will continue to give. Just like Larry Bird said, "if you give 100%, somehow things will work out in the end." God takes care of His faithful children. I plan to be God's girl until the day I stop breathing. I will continue to move on. I will continue to be amazed by Him and His unfailing love. I will continue to praise His name no matter how big the waves are He wants me to go through. Just like Seventh Day Slumber reminds us, He makes oceans from the rain.
"And I'm amazed by You. Cause You're never far away.
And all that I've been through, Your love has never changed.
And nothing I've acquired means anything at all.
Cause you're everything I needed. You're so much more than I deserve.
You make oceans from the rain. Breathing life into this place.
And I will drown inside your love. Until I see your perfect face."
Tomorrow, I have a very important job interview. I am praying that it's the one God wants me to have. If not, I know He still has bigger and better things out there for me. I'm tired of being sad, and I'm ready to be hopeful. I'm ready for my faith to be put to the strongest test of it's life. I'm ready to be the strong hearted Christian that God made me. No more negativity. Tonight, I was reading in our book for our small group bible study. I came across a passage that really spoke to me, and I'm going to leave you with that, and a quote from Dabo Swinney, who just won the NCAA football championship last night. "To God be the Glory!"
O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. Psalms 13:1-6
Have you ever just felt like giving up? I know that's kind of what they call a "stupid question". Everyone has felt that way at some point in their life. The sad thing is, some people feel that way more than others do. Some people just don't have a strong mind. A strong personality. A strong heart. I, Natasha Downs, am one of those people. Sometimes I think that I have such a big heart for others, that when it comes to taking care of myself, I just don't have it in me. I know that having a big heart for others is not a bad thing. Jesus had the biggest heart in the world for others. I just feel at times, that having a big heart for others makes it tough when I need to have a strong heart for myself. All that being said, I can honestly say, I have never once actually given up. No matter how much I've felt like it. As my youth minister told me, "It's not about the feelings anymore Natasha. It's about the facts." The inspiration for the title of this blog came to me a few weeks ago. My niece is a huge Shawn Mendes fan and I was looking him up to make sure she had my approval. After reading the lyrics to a song that he wrote, let's just say I approve 100%. God speaks to me through lyrics every single day. Sometimes, it's not a Christian song. Here are some of the lyrics to In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.
"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.
It isn't in my blood.
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something.
Keep telling me that it gets better, does it ever?
I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious.
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this.
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
is there somebody who could
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.
It isn't in my blood."
These particular words in this song really spoke to me. Why? Because it was exactly how I have been feeling over the past few months. There have been feelings of anxiety. Feelings of insecurity. Overwhelming feelings. There were times that I would ask Dustin if he was going to be home during lunch or even after work on time simply because I didn't want to be by myself. It felt like the whole world was saying to me, "It gets better.", not in so many words. Losing my job has really taken a toll on my heart. To say my heart is broken, is an understatement. However, my God is a God who heals. My God is the "somebody who could help me..." in this song. My God is the One who allowed me not to give up. This time, or any other time I have felt like it. How does He do that? One simple word. Faith. You've heard it said that faith can move mountains. Let me tell you something, it can. My faith has been stronger lately. Why? The heartbreak. The unknown. The uncertainty.
"You call me out upon the waters.
The great unknown, where feet may fail.
And there I find You in the mystery.
In oceans deep, my faith will stand.
And I will call upon Your name.
And keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace.
For I am Yours and You are mine.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
Your sovereign hand, will be my guide.
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed and You won't start now.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders.
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be made stronger,
in the presence of my Savior.
I will call upon Your name.
Keep my eyes above the waves.
My soul will rest in Your embrace.
I am Yours and You are mine."
Some of the purest, most peaceful, lyrics I've ever heard in a song. This song has been my go to for the past week. It has the reminder of faith. Trust. Hope. Love. "But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 No matter what comes my way, I know that God has got me. I know that He has a plan. And as I'm finally able to start the healing process, I couldn't be more thankful for the waves he wants me to ride. For it does one thing, makes my faith stronger. God has always been faithful. He's always been there. Always been my constant. There was another song that God spoke to me through about a week ago. It's what I like to call, a "conversation with God" song. It's by TobyMac. I'll write the lyrics in a way you can understand easily.
Me: Another heartbreak day. Feels like You're miles away.
Don't even need no shade, when your sun don't shine, shine.
Too many passin' dreams. Roll by like limousines.
It's hard to keep believin', when they pass you by and by.
God: I know your heart been broke again. I know your prayers ain't been answered yet.
I know you're feeling like you got nothing left, well lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet.
Move, keep walkin', soldier keep movin' on. Move, keep walkin' until the mornin' comes.
Move, keep walkin', soldier keep movin' on, and lift your head. It ain't over yet, ain't over yet.
I've had this conversation with God about a million and one times in my life. More so recently. I can't remember a time when I've felt this down. This angry. This heartbroken. This betrayed. However, as all of these songs have reminded me, God is on my side. No matter the mountain, God can move it. Which is why He wants me to keep movin' on. He has a reason for my heartbreak, and He will be there with me through the healing. I truly believe God made my heart into a giving heart. He gave it to me and told me to use it in every way possible. I feel like I have always done that. I always put others above myself. I always use my heart to show love to others, even the ones who are hard to love. I've used my heart through the words of all of my blogs, in hopes that it will reach someone. I give and give and give because it's in my nature. It's my gift. And no matter how much my heart gets broken in this life, I know that it will continue to give. Just like Larry Bird said, "if you give 100%, somehow things will work out in the end." God takes care of His faithful children. I plan to be God's girl until the day I stop breathing. I will continue to move on. I will continue to be amazed by Him and His unfailing love. I will continue to praise His name no matter how big the waves are He wants me to go through. Just like Seventh Day Slumber reminds us, He makes oceans from the rain.
"And I'm amazed by You. Cause You're never far away.
And all that I've been through, Your love has never changed.
And nothing I've acquired means anything at all.
Cause you're everything I needed. You're so much more than I deserve.
You make oceans from the rain. Breathing life into this place.
And I will drown inside your love. Until I see your perfect face."
Tomorrow, I have a very important job interview. I am praying that it's the one God wants me to have. If not, I know He still has bigger and better things out there for me. I'm tired of being sad, and I'm ready to be hopeful. I'm ready for my faith to be put to the strongest test of it's life. I'm ready to be the strong hearted Christian that God made me. No more negativity. Tonight, I was reading in our book for our small group bible study. I came across a passage that really spoke to me, and I'm going to leave you with that, and a quote from Dabo Swinney, who just won the NCAA football championship last night. "To God be the Glory!"
O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. Psalms 13:1-6
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